you guys were way drunker than both of me
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
