Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
