I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
how drunk are you?
Several
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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