I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
