my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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