You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
