go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
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I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
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Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?