how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
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I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
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I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home