let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.