we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!