I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.