did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
