haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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