Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
