Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
