Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
