so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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