Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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