phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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