Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
