my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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