So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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