Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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