A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Walk of Shame today included voting.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?