oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you traded sex for a burrito?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious