That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
