so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
