You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
