You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
