I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
