So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
