i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
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Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
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I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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