no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
