Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?