I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
