Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
