My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
