I'm jealous of your bromance
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
