she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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