I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
