Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
