Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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