Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
