thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So vagazzling was a success
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
