you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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