i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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