So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
