Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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