u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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