Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
