My room smells like vodka and shame
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
