just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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