Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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