That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
