Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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