i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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