She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
