hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
