I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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