What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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