Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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