So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
