Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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