your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
