chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
