I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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