My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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